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How can you tell when it's time to say " Check Please." We all know what it means to be completely done with your meal or beverage when dining out, so when we're finished we usually ask for the check. This mean it's over, no more, you've had enough to eat, you're done and it's time to go! In this post I share a few signs that indicate its time to end or be done with that date or relationship, or even conversation in the same fashion by telling that knuckle head "check please!" Too many times we sit and over stuff ourselves with complete nonsense instead of just removing ourselves from the situation/ the table and the sad part is, we don't even have to. Now I'm a very animated chic so yes this post will be long and drawn out but there is a message in the end so keep reading. I usually always have a story to tell, that's why I blog. So I felt ending a dinner and a relationship can in many ways be very similar. When you get too full of the crap, you say Check Please!! and be gone!
I recently met this guy and the conversation jumped off pretty well in the beginning so it seemed. I mean we were very similar with our life journeys, where we'd been and where we were headed. I will say I began to notice some what of a conceited mentality about him, which based on what he'd already shared with me he really had no room to be a jerk, but I was starting to see those type signs in him. Prime example, he was from a different state and when we first spoke he went on to say "Ga. women have nothing going for themselves, no cars, jobs, no money no business and they try to act like they are all that!" Hello??? I'm a Ga woman and you're a rude Moran is what I was thinking. I mean how dare he insult Ga women as if I wasn't there. I'd been working on not passing judgement on the men I meet so fast so even though I detected this behavior, I didn't knock him just yet, but this stayed in the back of my head. I figured if he already has his mind set that this is how he views Ga women, then why should I waist my time? So he stated one evening that he wants to "see me." No he didn't say he would like to go on a date or take me out someone and get to know more about me, he says he just wants to "see me!" Now this particular night I was hanging with my friends which means, well I wasn't available which tends to happen when you have a life. He then asked for a photo of me to be sent to him. Now this guy already knows what I look like and we hadn't really had that good old real bonding period on the phone yet, so to me he wasn't worthy to start receiving phone photos of me.
I don't know why but that's just one of my pet peeves with men, why do they always want a photo of us so fast when we just met! Can I have a chance to know more about you and be led to want to send you a picture on my own instead of you demanding one. And yes he did get pretty demanding and his tone was that of one who felt obligated as if he had a right to receive a photo of me. So I bit the bullet and said well what's a fully clothed photo of my smiling face going to hurt? Plus he did say he wanted to " see me " so what better way to see me than through a picture and then I pressed send. See I was trying to be submissive! Grrrrrrrrr.........
Did I ask for a photo of him? No, because women just don't do that, not all of us anyway but who knows maybe he was so amazed by my beauty he wanted to share it with all his buddies. Yeah that's what it probably was right?? So after that evening, we never really spoke again. I mean he just hadn't wooooed me and frankly I wasn't really that interested in him but would have kindly tried to give him a chance had he shown he wanted this bad enough. I mean he did say he was willing to wait and it was no rush we can always see each other another time. So at least two weeks had gone by and we hadn't talked or text-ed, I personally was okay with that then out of no where I get this non-personable text that said "hey." I responded with hello there and he went on to verbally attack me and said he tried to see me but I declined , and the ball was in my court and I haven't called and he has no problem deleting my info from his phone cause he ain't pressed , he said Im not all that and blah blah blah blah! My response: Ahhhh "Check Please!"
Now keep in mind this guy made the first move, he showed the interest in me and that was how we met. I mean I'm not saying that I don't have to make any contribution to get to know him too, because clearly if I plan to make it work I do, but what I am saying is if he wants the job, he needs to fill out the application completely! You can't turn in an incomplete application and expect to land the job!! Bam! Now you know that was the statement of the day I think I'll say that again, I said, You can't turn in an incomplete application and expect to land the job!!" And Sure you have my permission to use it!! Lol
See this was a perfect example of when it's time to say "Check Please!" I just don't have time to be battling with a dude because if he's as interested as he claimed to be than even though I wasn't able to see him that one lousy time he'd asked, doesn't mean he couldn't have tried at a later date. I mean he did say we'd try later and the last thing I need is a man who gives up so quick and tries to blame me for his lack of ability to connect with me on a level that may have gained and kept my interest. Women you're worth more than this and if he doesn't want to put forth the effort then keep it moving. I understand there are reasons people act like they do so Im not saying just cut every guy you meet off, but therapy is something he'll need to get himself if there are issues he has to iron out but not at the expense of your well being!
These are the early stages of mind control from a man, he wants to do the bare minimum and place the blame on you and you'd better give in! He kept saying he's not familiar with Ga and was still trying to adjust so he doesn't know where stuff is and blah blah blah blah! What does that have to do with bonding and getting to know me?? What did he really really really do to try to make this thing grow? NOTHING! The moral of this story is, if there is no interest being shown, why stick around?
I want us single ladies to make smart choices when choosing the very best guy to date and that starts with having awareness of who we are and awareness of who he seems to be too. Trust me there are always early signs no matter how small you must notice them. So I have listed a few tell tale indications to look for in the men you're dating or just simply trying to get to know that let's you know it may be time to say "Check Please!" And be gone!!!
- You've been talking for a few weeks and be hasn't even asked you on a date, yet has asked you to come to his place to just chill.... Check Please!
- He's not working just because and has no real reason as to why, no illness, no sudden job loss, then he tries to convince you " Well I'm just chilling right now, ya know what I'm saying?" ...... Check Please!
- He asked you out on a date then stands you up and tries to come a few days later with a lame excuse. If he's not dead, ....Ahhhhh Check Please!
- If he randomly sends you an unsolicited photo of his junk, this is disrespect at it's finest...Check Please!!!!
- If he has kids and doesn't take care of them, there is simply no excuse........ Check please!
- If he's done time in prison and seems to still be going down the path of crime despite being out now and clearly being given a second chance at life...... Check Please!
- If he says he dates both men and women, no time to be exploring this fetish..... Check Please!
- If he doesn't want to use a condom during intimacy especially if you're not exclusive, which I'd hope you're not just casually having sex but either way.....no condom, no cookies....Check Please!
- If his but is bigger than yours and wider.....Check Please! ( Optional, you may like em big,)
- If his reason for not having a car is because since his car wreck some years ago, he didn't plan on dating women he'd have to do things like drive for... Ahhhhh Check Please!!! (True Story btw )
Thanks for stopping by make sure you subscribe as I'm constantly trying to get this message out to all the single ladies and people who are dating in general. Have a good day!
Tinzley B
10 comments:
Neхt time I read a blog, I hope that it won't fail me as much as this particular one. I mean, Yes, it was my choice to read, but I really thought you'd hаve somethіng helpful to talk аbout.
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Thanks for your comment! I'm sure someone will find value in this post. That's always my goal! I wasn't seeking any attention sweety,I was just sharing my insight. Looks like YOU just didn't like it! Everyone's not going to like my posts, and thats quite alright! :)
I met this guy on facebook. We have one mutual friend. In January we met up in a public twice. Then he started coming over in January for one month. He told me him and his mom was leaving at the end of the month from Pa to Arkansas. Due to his mom's promotion. So we said we will do the long distance thing. March I went there and booked a hotel. He told me he never was out on his own. He's 39 and Im 43. HUH? Well I said to myself this still could work. It took him 6 months to get a job and it wasn't at his mom's job which he applied and got denied. He said his mom told him it's a position open could probably get it .Hmmm. So I said come back and he said I'm waiting one year in January first. Sounds like shot calling? He said he have to pay credit cards off and he don't know me long enough. What is wrong with him. So two weeks ago I booked a flight to see him and I'm cancelling the ticket and tell him I'm sick. My feelings are going out the window. Can you give me advice?
Hi Meccadame and thanks for stopping by. A few things concern me here, 1. This guy is 39 and has never been out on his own.2. He clearly is still at home with his mother and unless he's her caregiver, suffered a recent job loss, or an unexpected illness himself; this is unacceptable. 3. You're making all the arrangements and he's not making any. Clear sign youll more than likely always be doing "it all" in this relationship. I know that it can be easy to fall for a guy when the chemistry just feels right but you should not be booking rooms and calling the shots here as you barley know each other and it seems way too fast to even consider this a relationship. If this guy is interested in you then you won't have to do all the work to make arrangements to see him, he will make arrangements to see you! This entire thing seems complicated already and it's too much work for you to be in the early stages of relationship building. I suggest you stay right where you are and yes cancel that reservation. When Mr. Right comes, he will put forth way more effort than this fellow! Good luck my dear!
.thank you.
You're welcome and please let me know how things go. I hope you found my insight about the issue helpful!
Thanks for reading this post. Sorry you didn't find value in it but I'm certain someone will as that's my goal to help people make wiser choices when dating. I don't view it as me looking for attention; I view it as me demading respect and letting this guy see that I'm not to be played with I just call a spade a spade. Come back by! :)
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Hi Tinzley.
What a great post. I love the bullet points, they are all reasons to scream check please and head for the door. I missed reading my favorite bloggers, but I'm finally back and catching up on lost time.
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