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Why Can't We Find Long Lasting Love?
I've been doing a lot of reading about relationships and the many ups and downs that come with many of them. I've come to the conclusion that there are a large percentage of people who really want to find true love. Yes they want to be in a relationship, they want it to work, basically their intentions are to fall in love and be there for as long as life allows them to. The problem is, too many people are calling it quits faster than ever and are staying single longer because of it. The first thing a person does to piss them of their like deuces! It appears that many people are simply trying to protect their hearts. They know what it feels like to hurt in a relationship, they know the struggle and frustrations of having to learn things about a new person all over again, their ability to trust has gone down and their belief in actually finding long lasting love barely exist.The result, a scorned person who is afraid to love and be loved. Now I must say that if you're dealing with a person who is not a good fit for you and shows clear signs of being a user, a liar, or abusive, then you have a right to be protective and move forward with caution.
The Stats
According to a recent report published by the National Marriage Project, in New Jersey; the rate of marriage is down; the rate of divorce is up, and the number of marriages for every 1,000 women dropped 43% between 1960 and 1996. According to Pamela Smock, a researcher at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research, cohabitation doesn’t last nearly as long and many couples end that living arrangement within three years, with only 30% of them moving forward to marriage. Many of cohabiting couples simply break up.
When you think about it, finding love that last a long time and is genuine these days is like trying to find a size 9 pair of jeans in my closet. It ain't happening anytime soon! OOPS did I say that? People just don't hang in there for the long haul anymore.
What Can Be Done?
To start people must be willing to at least try to put forth an effort if they want the relationship to work. This may take therapy from a licensed professional as well as a bit of self-therapy. We have got to own a portion of why our relationships are failing and aren't lasting. If you recently ended a relationship or someone ended it for you, can you think about the real reasons why it ended? Can you remember how much effort the two of you really put in this to make it work? Another thing I can suggest is if you're still dealing with your emotions then it may be best to iron out your emotional issues before you try to go in hard core in the dating world. Trust me all those buried unaddressed emotions are likely to re-surface and stunt the growth of a possibly healthy relationship. It starts with you and you will have to work on you in order to embrace others.
Something to think about
We teach ourselves with own thoughts and our own attitudes. The way we handle ourselves many times can make or break a relationship. If we neglect ourselves how can we expect to embrace others?
Tinzley Bradford
2 comments:
I admit that I am rather protective of my heart but I don't think overly is the right word. Sensibly describes it better.
The last relationship I was ended because he and I were on two different levels. I wanted to work and have something, he wanted to sit at home wait for me to bring the bacon home. It was like our roles were reversed. He wanted to stay at home while I worked. As a somewhat old fashioned woman who was raised by her hard-working father, that did not sit well with me in the least. So I had to put up the deuces. It was a choice between him and my sanity.
Great point Susie, I actually intended on highlighting this type of break up as understandable. I totally agree and he should have gotten the boot! I added an insert to my blog about this, thanks for your comment!
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