How to not go backwards in dating. It happens ya know

I recently ran into a guy I once dated. It was nice seeing him although I couldn't help but to think about how things ended between us some years ago. Basically, he just wasn't available for me nor was he showing much effort. Me being the type of woman I am, I just cut him off completely. If you can't find time for a person you claim you're interested in; I question just how interested are you?

Needless to say, he's a nice looking guy, a nice person and many times he'd cross my mind. So he gave me his number in effort to stay in touch. We talked later on that day and from that point on we both decided that a second chance at dating would be a good idea. He claimed he was still very interested in me and felt he and I would be good together.I thought he was serious because usually I dare to go backwards but feels everyone deserves a shot if you can see no other issues he may have had that should keep you from dating him again.

As we started to review our past and just what caused the breakup, I expressed how he just didn't seem to be that into me. He'd go days without calling, we barely did things together and the relationship was just not growing. He went on to say he admits he's bad at that and he will do better and he wants to be with me and blah blah blah freaking blah. This was said almost a month ago and he's called maybe 6 times. He seems to think it's okay and takes forever to return a text/ call. It started to feel like I was a burden on him after HE agreed to give us another shot.

When I confronted him he has the nerve to say,"I can see this may be too much for me right now." My views? I think it was a cowardly act. How can you expect a plant to grow without any water. I have not spoken to him since and will not even consider it in the future. I mean how is my expecting him to keep his word this time too much to ask? I could have easily ignored the signs and tried to force it to work. The moral of the story is: You broke up for a reason, let it be!

Don't ignore the signs.  

1. He doesn't show any urgency in returning your calls or text.


2. He always has an excuse for why he didn't call back or text back.


3. He's never taken you out even with the second chance that you've given him.


4. He tries to make you appear like too much to deal with to solidify his inability to make changes needed for you both to grow.


5. He only calls when it's convenient for him.


6. You've never been to his house still. 

7. He takes his male friend a loaf of bread during a snow and ice storm,  but only spends 5 minutes with you.


8. He keeps blaming his lack of time on work. Who works 24 hours 7 days a week? If he wants to make time for you, trust me he would.

There are many ways to not be lured into going backwards and dating a guy again, who just hasn't changed. The choice is up to you, but if you're looking to move ahead and not be stuck on false hope; I suggest not going backwards and dating people who simply aren't giving you what you need and deserve.


Tinzley Bradford