How Patient Should You Be When Dating?

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For those of you who know me, you've probably already figured it out that I have zero tolerance for confused, unsure, immature or inconsiderate men when dating. Often times I write about my not so great dating experience and send the dude packing never to be seen or read about again.

Why is this you may ask? Well it's because I know what I want and what I'm looking for and I feel an adult mature man should know the same. I mean why else would we be dating? I'm not there to learn restaurant etiquette or how to watch a movie and not even look at each other once; I'm there to date and get to know this guy in hopes of finding true love.

But I've been told by a few people that maybe I'm being impatient. Maybe I should give the guy time to come around and be much of what I'm looking for. In other words, I should not cut him off just because he may not have called me and talked since the date or even texted or shown any interest. It could be that he's evaluating his emotions ( I don't think so ) Or just because he loves to sit and talk/yell about sports and makes it clear that he will be watching sports with his friends and drinking lots of beer. ( Can't help but to wonder if he's preparing me for something.)
Also, even if he does look "lame" I've been told maybe I can work with that. My biggest problem with that is, men want us women to be all sexy, beautiful and desirable; yet they can look lame and I'm forced to work with it? (Huh!)

So I'd like to know just how patient should you be when dating? The clock is ticking, how long should I wait? I've come up with a few things that shouldn't cause you to just cut him off so fast. These are a few things that I've seen many guys eventually make a major change in that could allow for a successful, long lasting relationship once he does. Note: it doesn't include him not calling or showing interest because those are things he should do.

1. Issue: He doesn't dress well or looks sloppy and un-kept. Now this is a pet peeve I have for sure. I mean why should I date a guy who looks sloppy and doesn't even compliment me when we're together? I mean I take the time to be well groomed, why can't he?
Answer: Many guys believe it or not don't get the importance of appearance and the impression it makes on a female. They will throw on an old too tight college tee-shirt and show up and your front door with flowers.(but at least he brought flowers) This is something that with time and guidance, I'm sure a woman can help him boost his gear up a notch. Soon he'll be coming around looking so fly, you'll be like whoa!!! Make some suggestions and give him time especially if that's the only issue you have and he's otherwise a great guy.

2. Issue: He still lives with his mother. Now this even for me is the number one no no. I mean what are we going to do? Make out while his mom sits and coaches us along? I need a man with his own so we can have privacy and not be forced to sit and talk about who Monica Kaufman's hairstylist was many years ago.
Answer: While this can be an immediate turn off for a female; it does allow you a chance to see the type of relationship he has with his mother. Also, in today's struggling economy, there are a lot of great people men and women who simply had to start over. Maybe he's one of them and his stay at home with mom is only temporary. Is he a good guy who treats you with respect and uses his own money to take you out? How often have you heard him speaking of getting his own place again? Is he his mother’s caregiver? Can you handle that?  I mean try to be patient with him and see where he's headed, he just may surprise you. Now if three generations have passed and he's still there, you should have been moved on.

3. Issue: He doesn't rip your clothes off or undress you with his eyes. Okay I'm sure many women feel that if a man doesn't seem to be ready to go crazy in the bedroom, then he must not be interested. (In women that is.)  
Answer: Now this is something that you should actually be happy for. While many guys show their attraction by constantly reminding you how "sexy" you look or how he'd just like to well you know. There are actually guys who are very attracted to you but prefer to be more reserved and be a gentlemen about it. I can respect a guy like this who doesn't just go crazy trying to get you into the bedroom, or on the counter-top, or in the shower or on the patio or well you know.( Wooo! was getting little carried away there. LOL) Anyway, thank God for a guy like this and as long as he's showing interest in you by calling, talking to you, coming to see you and showing clear signs that you and him are dating exclusively, trust me the rest will all fall into place when the time is right. Who wants a nymphomaniac anyway? I've made the mistake of given in fast before and realized I like a guy who can wait.

4. Issue: He doesn't by you gifts or presents. Now I'm sure we all like to be spoiled and charmed, but when you're just dating it's at his discretion whether or not he wants to buy you gifts yet. I mean it's pretty neat and it's a kind thing to do but he doesn't and shouldn't have to do it. 
Answer: If you're looking to be spoiled the easy way by just showing your boobs, buns and dorkyness; then you may need to go put on your two pony tail wig, your stilettos, mini skirt and go join "Hugh Heffner" and the crew over at the Play Boy Mansion. Many guys have been used and abused and while they don't mind treating you to dinner and a movie, a diamond necklace from "Jarred's" may be asking a bit much. He may be trying to make sure you're not just a gold digger looking for a man who bares gifts. If he really likes you and the two of you start dating exclusively then trust me the gifts and spoiling will come. And it would be nice if you'd do the same for him occasionally, don't just be a taker.

I'd like you to share your views on this subject. Just how patient should you be? Are you willing to wait for a guy to get to a certain point or if he's not there right away do you cut him off and move on? Thanks for stopping by.
 
Tinzley Bradford