So I called myself expressing how I was feeling to Mr. "the truth" and it doesn't seem to have gone well. I described our relationship and how I viewed it as making donuts. You know the old saying, "Time to make the donuts" on the Dunken Donut commercial years ago. I told him I think he's really nice but I'm bored and feel like it's the same old routine every day making donuts with no icing or sprinkles just dry, dull donuts.
I thought it would go over well and I wasn't saying that I don't appreciate the candy bar and the stuffed dog he brought me, but I was just not seeing anything exciting that was keeping me interested.
So what does he do? He doesn't add flavors or change the recipe, he just stops baking altogether. So now I don't even have donuts I have nothing! Why me? People who completely shut down when you're trying to be honest with them annoy me. I'm just saying! He said he understood and will work on it, but the conversation many times is so non-stimulating. I don't want to here about Shauq and how he went to the Boston Celtics in the middle of me trying to discuss my feelings. And it doesn't matter if my mailbox is plastic or metal ughhhh!!!! Will you cut the small talk already!
Needless to say, I explained my needs and what issues I'm having with him. My intentions was not to frighten him away; it's just I read a lot and many experts say it's best to express your feelings with who you're dating. I mean I wouldn't want him to think everything's just great and then I suddenly lose it! I'm beginning to think that trying to have an open line of communication with some men, is like trying to get to the President at a parade. It's impossible!
Well until next time, I will see where this goes and hopefully my next post won't be titled, " It's Over!" He says he will work on it, we'' see!
Thanks for stopping by and your views are welcome, please leave a comment. Also check out this site, it's cool and shows 50 of the best blogs with marriage advice http://www.mastersincounseling.com/50-best-blogs-for-marriage-advice
Tinzley Bradford
2 comments:
I'm convinced that men and women communicate in totally different ways. I think that women like to discuss things to get them out in the open and head off a big conflict down the line, which is what happens when we keep our feelings in. I think that men just don't communicate this way and they often view "air clearing" as an attack instead of a statement about how we feel.
For that reason, I think that when the situation may be temporary (like in moment where you are upset that will likely pass once you cool down) it is usually better to not say anything. For your situation though, this was not a fleeting thought, and not something that just going to go away. Some real effort needs to be put into this, so I guess time will tell if he is the kind of guy who will put in that effort, or if he will look for the easy way out and just ignore.
Just remember that no matter what happens, ultimately what is meant to be will prevail. The right guy is out there, and I know you have the faith to know that this is true. If this guy is meant to be, this will work out.
Thanks Tina, I just don't get it. I like to share my views and hope that the guy I'm dating wants to listen and understand or at least try to understand what I'm saying.He can even share his views as well.
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