Just what is the "Male Role" in a relationship?

photo by dreamstime


I'm sure we've all heard it before and at some point maybe even said it. “Does he know what his role is as the man of this relationship?" Yes there is an expectation women have that they feel men are suppose to not only know about, but also meet this expectation. But what if he doesn't know he ever had one? The question is, just what the “male role?” is

When a woman meets a guy, should he be actively seeking ways to impress her? Example, If you've been dating for a while and he knows you are in the process of moving, should he show up and began disassembling beds, loading up sofas, and helping you move? Or should he just take it easy and you go hire a moving company? The question is, what would you do if he wasn't in the picture? Yet what should he do now that he is?

Another example is, if you meet a man and he runs a landscaping company. You are one of his customers and for some reason you two began to date, should he stop charging you and just do your yard for free? Or should you two begin your possible journey to love, yet you hand him fifty bucks each time he does your yard? The question is if you two hit it off will you still have to hire a lawn guy?

What about washing the car? Should you expect your new sweetie to take care of the car or should you just schedule your routine detail at the local car wash? Would he think you were needy if you asked him to do it? Or would he think you were too independent if you didn't?

There used to be a time when if a man was trying to win you over, the three things he would do hands down is wash your car, mow your lawn, and take out your trash. Now it's like asking some men to donate a kidney to get them to do these things. I had a guy tell me I'm so pretty, he wants to be with me, he knows we could be good together and blah blah blah freaking blah, but when I asked him to mow it, he somehow disappeared.

So, just what is the “Male Role?” In a world where Beyonce says, "Let me upgrade you." Do you think men are waiting to be upgraded? So therefore they don't wash the car, take out the trash, help you move or even mow the lawn anymore?

I would love to know, ladies and gentlemen, what do you think? Should women expect these things occasionally? Or should we be looking to mow your lawn and providing you with BBF cuff links?

I have taken time to closely analyze things men should be able to do in order to have a successful relationship. I have noticed that problems seem to arise when these valuable things are missing.

1. Listen, and really take it in. Too many times I have dated guys who only hear what they want to hear when I'm talking. They draw their own assumptions on what they think I mean never truly understanding it clearly. This causes problems, listen to what's being said, and try to walk in her shoes.

2. Provide for your lady. I understand we all have to crawl before we walk, and now a day’s times are hard so being able to provide for an over the top life style may be asking a bit too much. But if you are a man in a relationship, you should be able to provide for an adequate lifestyle and not be 38 years old and unable to take your lady out, help pay for the household expenses, and occasionally have extra money to spoil your lady with a nice gift here and there. Trust me, she does expect that whether she says it or not.

3. Be a do it yourselfer. In a world where it can be quite costly to have manual work done on your house, it can be even more costly if you have tom call a repair man for every single thing. I mean what does a lady need a man for? Men, try to learn basic fix it things around the house that could not only impress your lady, but save the both of you money. (And this does include mowing the lawn.)

4.Don’t just say you're going to do it, actually mean it. Nothing annoys me more than having to constantly remind my man to do something he said he was going to do. I know life happens and we all get busy, but you weren't too busy to sit down with the fellows and watch football, you weren't too busy to put that new turbo engine in your "play car," and you weren't too busy to get that new game system installed, so don't be too busy to help clear the garage out so she can set up her little project she's been delaying, because you've been too busy to help.

5. Don't forget the little things. Okay, your lady just said she doesn't feel good and she is lying in the bed beside you and not getting any better. This is not the time for sex, trust me; can you please go and get her something to make her feel better? Yes, that means you will have to get up, put on clothes, and maybe even go out to get it, but guess what, she will love you forever and never forget it. This shows her what you are willing to do just to make her feel better and it goes very far.

6. Be a man. Please all you clear fingernail polish, and gelled hair wearing guys no offense, but come on now nothing like that rough neck who doesn't mind getting his hands dirty, he doesn't mind being loud while watching football, he will still wear that shirt with the big ole school college logo on it and he will go outside and play in the dirt with the family pet. Oh that's so attractive to me, maybe it's just me but, metrosexuals played out with the dinosaurs, give me a man!!


These were just a few things that I know I would enjoy in a man and it would have me hooked for life. And notice I didn't even mention how well he is in the bedroom, which shows it isn't all about that. Being a man is one thing, but knowing your role and being a good man is what it takes to get the same in a woman.

Tinzley Bradford