Okay, so you were in a relationship with a good woman, but somewhere along the way you screwed up; what do you do now that you want her back?
You claim you want another shot at dating this lost love, but your actions may be saying otherwise. Are you calling her or only texting occasionally? Do you go the extra mile to prove you really want her back? If so, what are you doing? This is his your moment to shine for the second time, so don't blow it again. I came up with six things a man must do, (that's if he truly wants her back).
1.Show your interest through actions.
Okay, why are you claiming to be interested and want another shot at dating her, but you have only gone on one date? (Not to mention she had to meet you there).Don't make her come to you already unless she wants to. Shivery, Shivery, Shivery ! You have to re-set the stage and go the extra mile to show her you are serious. I mean this is like a real first date again you are still in impression mode, so be old school and at least offer to come and get her.It's impressive when a woman feels you are willing to pick her up, take her out, treat her special, and take her back home(and do it more than once). She is more likely to immediately start to re-develope a liking to you, if she sees that you are a gentlemen.
2.Be consistant not distant
What are you doing to not only gain, but keep her interest? Texting every now and then, calling every now and then, and always sounding as if you are too busy or tired to make plans with her is a turn off. You messed up! Hello! It is not her issue it is yours, didn't you say you wanted her? Okay so you need to call more and talk about things,get to know her again and allow her to get to know you as well. There may be times that the chemistry is just no longer there, but the chances are if she was willing to go out with you after you did her wrong, then there must be at least a little interest still there. You have to make it grow and show her you really are interested. If you don't stay in touch, and only text she will think you haven't changed or you just aren't as interested as you said you were.She will then move on.
3. If you aren't ready for a relationship, then don't waste her time.
Okay you went out with her, you said you were interested in her, you even let your dad meet her. But yet you only have excuse after excuse after excuse as to why you have not spent more time with her. Either you are working long hours, or you have to get your kid settled, or you are too tired when you get home, or you have a lot on your mind like debt and other things. These are just excuses that you should have considered before you re-approached her.Not only is it a turn off, but you knew all of these issues were there in your life to begin with, yet you told her you wanted her back in your life. Well I suggest you figure out a way to make it work or don't approach her or anyone until you are ready. The chances are you just aren't at a point to date anyone, you have a lot of personal issues to iron out and no new love interest should be pulled in to your life of drama. Don't waste her time if you can't deliver, that's the bottom line.
4. Be polite and patient with her.
There may be many things already going on in her life that may not make it as easy to just hurry up and get back into you. I mean she may really want to give you a chance, but she has a hectic schedule as well and you are suddenly back trying to get in her life. The key is the effort you put forward and the patience you show. Women can see your efforts and we know when it's us who are not coming through on our end. You should try to show her you understand and at times be willing to suggest things you may be able to do to help her with what may be going on.( Something you won't later regret of coarse ). Women like to see a man who cares about what she is doing especially after he screwed up in the first place, the last thing she needs is your anger and frustrations because she's not getting with you quick enough.Give her time to take everything in, and be a friend first to see how things are, create a bond that the both of you value. She may see you as the apple of her eye after a while, women love polite, caring men, who are patient.
5. Don't be mad if she decides to date other people.
You have just come back in her life, and while she may still like you she may already be in the dating scene. Just take a number and wait til your are called. What this means is, she is not nor should she be expected to just drop everything because a failed relationship has resurfaced in her life. No, you should just try to do your best to stand out in the crowd. If you still want her, there must be plenty of guys who want her as well and you should respect that. The key is what do you bring to the table that makes you a better choice for her than the rest? Don't get mad, just up your effort and maybe you will win the prize.
I can honestly say if a guy I once dated came back in my life and did everything he could to show me he wants me, then we would probably be together right now. Since he has not, then we are not and life goes on.This all depends on why things didn't work the first time. We are all human and make mistakes, but each mistake doesn't deem anyone worthy of a second chance, but it could be considered.Who knows, she may even become your wife if you do whats right...Good luck !!
Fellows, it's not as hard as you may think it is to get her back, but keep in mind you did mess up and she may be the type who just doesn't feel good moving backwards. If she does show interest however, then you'd better get in while you can because she is still single and you aren't the only choice.
Does this make since? I would love to know what you think men and women of the community. Does this sound like a few things men should consider if he wants a second chance?
Tinzley Bradford
