Is It Really Cheaper to Keep Her? The Fantasy World Of Men

Photo from Google Images via seshdotcom.wordpress.com

 

I was chatting with a male friend of mine about the old song "Cheaper to Keep Her" By singer singer/ songwriter Buddy Guy www.youtube.com/watch 

My friend shared his frustrations with men mostly, for being and staying in relationships with women who they despise or who they no longer love. This caught my attention because my ultimate goal is to help singles make wiser choices when choosing their mate so they won't end up singing Old Buddy Guy's song. So here's what my friend had to say. His exact words:

"I'm so sick of hearing this "cheaper to keep her" BS! It's cats like this that have perpetuated this ridiculous notion and driven many men to submission. You can't put a price on your freaking happiness or peace of mind! Period! (regardless as to being male or female) So, It's supposed to be a better idea to have husbands and wives who despise each other , and kids all too much the wiser? Who wins in that scenario?"

My opinion on the topic? There is this fear of facing reality that men seem to have more than women. Now I'm not saying all men but many tend to create this fantasy world that consists of all the things they like and all the stress free things that they don't have to worry about. They can be very selfish and while living this fantasy world, they are too closed minded to realize that this does NOT resolve the problems they are having in their marriages. Running from responsibility never makes it all better because, well it's still there when you return. So the cheaper to keep her to most men means they will go ahead and stay in an unfulfilled relationship and continue to fake it because they know they have this fantasy world they have created and can always run off and hide there. Whether it's another woman and just sex that they may not be getting at home or whether it's going to strip bars or even if its using drugs or hanging out flirting with other females, it's their place to escape and not have to FACE the reality of their now married life. Some men just don't handle stress well and they hate having to talk anything over that may reveal all they have been storing inside of them. The down side is when this "fantasy world" gets found out about! Then you have even more to deal with. So is it really cheaper??Alimony and child support is not cheap at all! I suggest if you're no longer happy and have tried therapy and any and everything to get that SPARK back yet is hasn't worked. Then divorce maybe the best option. 

The problem females have on the other hand is image; We live to please the "World" instead of ourselves even if that means paying ALL the bills, buying our own engagement ring and moving him in your home just to say you have a happy loving relationship. We figure, if I look happy on the outside then I don't have to worry about being judged for being single! In reality when it all comes tumbling down, fingers will still be pointed.

My friend then asked why aren't there any women saying “it’s cheaper to keep him? Why just men?" I responded, I think our song may go more like this," It's safer to keep him, that way no one knows just how super miserable I am!"

Now do you really want to be with someone who does NOT want to be with you? Somethings can't be saved!

Tinzley B

Get Ready For 25 Days To A Better You #Nando25 on Twitter

" On April 1st, I’ll be participating in a 25 Day blogger challenge, with the fabulous dating, sex & relationship blogger Nando Rodriguez of Nandoism.com GO HERE NOW TO REGISTER!! (http://nandoism.com). "25 Days to a Better YOU!" will inspire you to improve your life!  Personal improvement comes in various flavors: relationships, losing weight, better communication, parenting, job, social, etc and as a participant, you will have the opportunity to discuss your daily challenge thoughts and journey on Facebook, Twitter and Youtube. The conversation will keep going for 25 consecutive days. (We are not going to leave you out in the dark, Nando will be around with a flashlight shining a light on you and holding your hand “virtually”.

Each day in April there will be a new blog post (either article, video, podcast, interview) that will inspire you to create a better version of yourself! The focus is not to break you down, but to help create breakthroughs in your life. We can all use a little guidance in our lives and Nando’s "25 Days to a Better YOU!" is a great place to start.

I will be giving away TWO #Nando25 starter kits (U.S. Residents ONLY)  to help kick start your journey. But anyone can participate in by visiting his blog (http://nandoism.com) and by following and adding to the conversation on Twitter with the hashtag  #Nando25.

To enter + win your own starter kit, post a comment on my Facebook/Blog page and let me know why you want to participate in the 25 day challenge and what you are hoping to improve. Two random people will be chosen and mailed a fabulous starter kit to prep you for April 1st!


Check out this Video as Nando explains more details. You don't want to miss this it will be life changing!

Stop Blaming Yourself..The More You Trust Yourself, the Less You Doubt Yourself

Hello Everyone, Just a short note about this video I just posted. Are you guilty of appointing blame for why you're single? Does it cause you to distance yourself from loved ones and many times you find yourself looking like a train wreck causing men to not want to date you? it's okay to go through the periods of fear and self doubt, but at some point you have to get over it, stop appointing blame on yourself and live. Check out this video where i share a few tips! See my full article here on AbiolaTV Passionista Playbook Blog http://t.co/nHUkKeXC please share your thoughts by leaving comments. Remember: The more you trust yourself, the less you doubt yourself!

How to be Single and Happy Right Now! Embrace the Ones Around You....

Well it's our last day in FL and I must say I had the best time with my mom.

Its funny because one would think me being a single female in a place loaded with men, I'd feel like I was in a meat market and carefully be making my selections.

It wasn't like that at all actually I met one guy and he was sweet but I didn't meet anyone who I can say would lead to a long term romance, but I can tell ya there was lots of flirting going on.

Flirting to me is healthy, fun, and shows you still got it! I say if men no longer look at you or drool in a sense, then it might be one if four things:

• They are already taken 

• You are not working it

• They are shy

• Or they prefer a man too! Which means competition for you! LOL

Single ladies you don't have to have a man with you to have fun on a vacation! My mom is 62 years old and when I say we had a lot of fun I mean just that!

Too many times being single causes our hidden co-dependency to kick in and we no longer believe we can have fun around our family and friends especially if we are trying to get our groove back and well, I'm not so sure that would go well with your mother! Sure I know companionship is important and we all want it, but if it's not happening yet make it happen and keep the joy in your life going!

It's important to remember the people who love and support you, who encourage you, and who motivate you many times can turn out to be even more fun than hanging with a "boyfriend" if things aren't really going well in the relationship at the time. I know I personally would never book a trip with someone that I've spent at least three days arguing with for what ever reasons and not resent him occasionally which is bound to take away from the fun of the trip! I hear it too many times, " I don't want to go on a trip without a man!" huh suit yourself!

Now I'm not saying that all couples do is argue, but I am saying I laugh with my mom more than I argue! I laugh more with my best friends and sister more than I argue.

How about a different kind of fun!
We must make the time to love and embrace those around us at this very moment. We must stop feelings of inadequacy simply because at this time we are still single.

Trust me beautiful, your day will come and if you're unhappy with who you are it may just pass you by!

Tinzley B

Dating Challenges and how to still feel the love

Hello I wanted to speak more on many of the dating challenges single women in Atlanta have while dating and just single females in general. I also share a few cool ways you can get over being single and do things to make yourself feel good, whether it's treating yourself and spending quality time with those loved ones around you.Being single does NOT make you a non-traditional American it just makes you a single American!

Check out this video!




See original post here on Abiola's Passionista Playbook Blog  http://bit.ly/yTz6lf

A while ago this blog was posted on The Passionista Playbook Blog and I wanted to share it with you.

Hello Single Moms!

Do you get tired of people asking you “Why are you single?” Many times people look at you as if YOU are the reason. You have a child and for one reason or another daddy didn’t want to stick around so there just has to be a problem.
I personally get offended when someone assumes because I’m not married; there must be something wrong with me. I had the pleasure to appear on local news station this morning where there was a mini debate on whether my city Atlanta is one of the best cities to date in. I was selected as the one who opposed that it is the best city and I was able to share a few reasons why.
In this post I’d like to share some of the reasons many single mothers and single women in general may be having a tough time dating, not just in the ATL area, but all around the world. I also have a few tips on what you can do to keep yourself from feeling inadequate or unloved by bringing joy to yourself.
It shouldn’t come as a shock that dating has become almost like a full time job and it’s seems like you’re having to work extra hard just to get and keep a man’s interest these days. Many times it’s not because there is something wrong with you, but in my humble opinion; I’m running into more and more guys who guys these days who just don’t want to settle down right now. I’ve come across at least three guys recently who all made it very clear they aren’t ready to commit or settle down. This to me is quite alright; I mean I can appreciate their honesty.
What I can’t appreciate and I’m sure many single ladies can agree is the fact that while none of the men want to commit, they have no problem asking to come over and “chill at our crib” we all know what that means. This is one of the top reasons why I’m still single and why many single women are too I’m sure you can agree.

Other Reasons I’m Still Single:

• Guys want the benefits but no commitment;
• He says he’s single but he really isn’t single so therefore he’s not truly available;
• There is a very wide distance between the ratio of women to men, I’m talking 15 to 1;
• Men no longer want to date anymore, they just want to cut right to the chase;
I have also included a few ways that you as a single mom can embrace being single without feelings of inadequacy. Yes you’re single and yes you’re not married and yes you have a child or children and no father for the kids, but life is not over for you. You must find ways to make yourself happy and not sit around hoping someone will show up with a dozen roses and shower you with love. If it hasn’t happened yet chances are you may have to wait a while longer.

How to Rock Your Single Life:

• Treat yourself and your children/ child out to a special day together. Maybe have some ice-cream and check out a movie together.
• Don’t wait for some guy to do it, pamper yourself. Even if it’s just a simple manicure and pedicure with a sexy new color choice. You’ll be amazed at how something so simple can make you feel foxy!
• Exercise and keep your mind off the worry of being alone. This relaxes you, stimulates your mind and also helps keeps you in good shape. If you feel good about yourself then you tend to treat others better so being single is not like this big deal!
• Don’t spend every minute looking for a possible “boyfriend” just enjoy your life right now at this very moment. It works for me!
I hope you have enjoyed today’s post and video. Remember that you are beautiful, sexy, vibrant and intelligent so get up, look in the mirror and dance!!!
Love,
Tinzley

See Me On TV 11 Alive News Dating Debate, Is ATL The Best City To Date In?

I wanted to share this short clip of me on 11 Alive News as I share a few tips on dating and also what I believe causes so many problems for single women looking to date in the ATL area. Click the link to see the full clip:

11alive.com/video/1451606343001/1/Debate-Is-Atlanta-the-best-city-for-singles

News Anchor Jeff  Hullinger myself and Rebecca live on 11 Alive News

Sex and the Single Mom

How stressed are you when it comes to sex? I know as a single mom you don't want it to appear like you're an easy catch, but you if you want it, get it. Check out this video and see my full blog by clicking the link below.




See Full Article By Clicking the Link Below! Thanks!

   http://www.abiolatv.com/sex-single-mothers-sexuality-love-dating-advice/