How To Deal With The Invisible Man In Your Life

Life is more than sorrow and pain. It's more than insecurity and low self esteem. It's so much greater than fear and uncertainty. Life is a beautiful gift a blessing brought to you by God. Spend it with someone who wants to be there with you! This probably won't come as a surprise but I wanted to give my views on how to deal with what I like to call the invisible man. Have you ever met a guy who says all the right things yet does absolutely nothing? This guy is a real charmer and he can talk such a good game but when it's time to play, he's not the best team player. He says he wants to be with you, spend time with you, grow old with you. ( Sounds good doesn't it?) He says all that yet hasn't called you in three days, even after you texted him last. In this post I share my views on ways you can deal with the invisible man, it's actually quite simple, just hang in here with me and I'll show you how! I know he seemed like a good fit and your chemistry over the phone and via text was completely mesmerizing and well he made you feel special  and wanted and needed. I understand that you're probably lonely and really would like to speak with him and you're also wondering what you may have done wrong? ( Never blame yourself for his bad behavior)I I know you're thinking he used to call or text everyday so why hasn't he called in three days? Then you go on to say, well maybe he had other plans or something. ( Don't make excuses for his bad behavior)  Ladies you see thats the way the cookie crumbles. If he's really so right for you then he'd call you and by now you would have gone on several dates and he'd want to make himself available for you instead of being the invisible man. Now you're feeling sad and hurt wondering why your relationships never seem to blossom. ( Don't sit a fret over his bad behavior)  Remember, There is this really really big world out there and it's filled with so many awesome people and so many things for you to do and places for you to go. This big world also has some really cool friends of yours who love, respect, and value you and THEY are very visible in your life. You see you are a very talented gifted person who's time is way more important and shouldn't be spent stressing over an imature, unavailable, invisible man who needs to grow the hell up and figure out what it is he really wants! You see honey it's not you it's him. You know what you wanted, you wanted him. But he clearly hasn't the slightest clue. And now that you think about it, how bad do you want to be with a person who can't even keep things real with you and who doesn't know how to show you he appreciates you and can't seem to make a decision? Do you really want to spend your time chasing what's supposed to be a grown man? No sweety there are too many real men out there who probably think you're freaking gorgeous ( which you are ) and they are willing and more than ready to take you out, date you, get to know you, spend time with you and be available for you; and possibly really grow old with you. He won't waste your time or his time because he knows just what and who he wants and he ain't afraid to show you. Now that you get it I hope, I want you to get up, go turn on Jay- Z's song " On to the next one! " Bump it loud and YOU move on the next one! So how do you deal with the " Invisible Man?" YOU DON'T!!! TinzleyB

How to Balance Your Sex Appeal & Mommyhood: Interview with LoriTheAuthor

Moms, Just in time for Mothers Day! A few tips on being sexy and being a mommy! There is a difference between feeling sexy and being sexy. If you don't feel sexy there is no way you'll be sexy. Single moms this is for you, not so single moms this is for you too. I had the honor of interviewing Lori Verni-Fogarsi AKA "LoriTheAuthor" She spoke about how you single moms can balance your mommyhood with your sex appeal! Please take a look at the full article/ Audio here on Abiola Abrams Passionista Play Book Blog. http://www.abiolatv.com/sexy

Here is the Audio posted below. Moms, It's time to get your sexiness back my dears!!! You're only as pretty as you believe you are! If you don't find your own sexiness, no one else will!

If He's Not Interested, Then he's Not Interested. That's All!

Photo from iwantclosure.com via Google Images

Single ladies, do you find yourself trying to make excuses for his actions? He never really shows you he's interested, he doesn't make time for you, he texts you occasionally saying you're beautiful and a good woman, but does nothing to make you feel that way, he has never gone on a real date with you, nor has he given any signs he even plans on ever going anywhere with you, you're not in the "know" with him, he totally ignores your flirts yet you seem to feel there has to be something there? Here is your wake up call: "GIRL WAKE UP, HE'S NOT INTERESTED!" there I said it so now what's your defense?




Think like a lady and stop making excuses for his actions.

When are we as females going to stop blocking ourselves from a real man who's not afraid to commit and who's not afraid to show you he is interested in you and he does want you? For one this guy who probably hasn't even called you today right? It's really not complicated. I had a conversation the other day with a friend of mine and she had a valid point when she said, females need to realize that a lot of men just don't know what to do or how to do it when it comes to being in a relationship or trying to be in a relationship and it's up to us females to either accept it and try to mold these grown a-- men into the guy we'd like him to be, or we can not accept it and choose to remain single. Me I choose the latter and my reason is, Why should we as females always have to be the ones playing mama? When a guy really wants a certain car he does his homework, finds the best deal, then goes to get it and worships it like it's Quasi God or something, I'm talking the kit and the stereo down to the rims and the built in play station. When a guy really wants the new "Jordon's" he'll stop at nothing to make those new sneaks his own. Finally, when a guy really wants a certain girl, yes he'll do everything within reason to impress her and to get her so guess what, if he's not working to get you, he's not interested! No Excuse!

 Stop over analyzing, if he said it he meant it.

Photo from madamenoire.com via Google Images

If he's not interested then he's not interested! We females seem to analyze way too much, I was speaking with someone I know the other day and she said females tend to over think into what his actions really mean. For example, if a guy says he just wants to be friends, we are thinking we can somehow change his mind and make him fall madly in love with us. Guess what, it don't work like that anymore. The love and basketball child hood friends turned lovers days are over. If he said he just wants to be friends then that's what he meant, and me personally; I don't need anymore friends so see ya! Why do we think we can just change his mind? It's so tiring trying to force this guy to like you for more than he does, why stress yourself out like that? Just say okay and leave him be. Friendship happens overtime and is nothing that can be appointed by someone, so what does he really mean when he says he just wants to be friends? That is the question!


Move on, he clearly is. 

Photo from fashionandcookies.com via Google Images

Okay so why do you just keep on texting him, flirting with him, saying cute little things to him, telling him you hope he has a good day when you really don't give a s---? Why are you doing this to yourself? He doesn't want you remember? He could care less about your text but will play along with you just in case what he's really interested in doesn't work out, you'll be his back up, rainy day chic! Just stop it already! He seems to be doing just fine without you in his life so when are you going to stop punishing yourself with false hope and just move on? He clearly has? Ladies stop making excuses for these grown men who by now should know what they want and if it's not you then get over him and keep it moving, he seems to be!

I just have to say what's so different about what he's gone through as a youngster and what you've gone through as a youngster? He has emotional baggage, you have emotional baggage so why does his emotional baggage get a reason behind it and we're supposed to just deal with it because well, that's how men are? Sorry Charlie but if I have to grow up and act like a mature adult then so do you and that means that you need to care enough to try to find out what women like as much as we do. I speak from experience and it's really gotten old! Ladies, say bye bye to him, life is too relevant to waste your time on a clueless excuse maker!!

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed today's post, I'd love to hear your views so feel free to leave a comment below. I'm sure you have something to say.

Tinzley B

Nandos 25 days to a Better You Challenge Feedback

Hi Everyone, I wanted to share how the  25 day challenge is going so far. Me being a dating/ relationship insight blogger it's important that I'm my very best when I bring you, my readers insight on dating and offer ways for singles to make wiser dating choices.  On April 1st, I committed to joining this life changing challenge that has so far got me wearing my crown, speaking the best languahe and sharing my inspirations via social media and Pinterest. See my Pinterest Board here:  http://pinterest.com/tinzleyb/ details here http://nandoism.com/ In this short video, I just wanted to provide a little feedback about the challenge and what it's done for me so far! There is still time for you to get in too. Watch this video and I hope you're inspired to get involved as well. Thanks for stopping by!

Do Men Really Prefer a Mean Girl?

Photo by flyguychronicles.com via Google images

There is this guy who just does not seem to get it. He has continued to ask me time after time again if he can come into my bedroom even though we are not an exclusive couple. The answer continues to be NO! When will these guys learn? I’m not an appetizer, you can’t just come nibble on me until the main course arrives! Now this hasn't always been the case. Too many guys want the benefits but no commitment and it's gotten quite boring.

When we first met I'd allow him to come visit me occasionally in hopes that the friendship would grow and you know, we'd start doing things together. I did everything I could to show him I was interested yet he never seemed to respond, but continued to call me and ask to come by. I would call him daily and text him sweet thoughtful notes and allowed him to come over to visit me often and watch tv and maybe the occasional kiss here and there. The thing is, that's as good as it got and he started to throw hints like he expected us to start, well you know doing the do. Ladies have you encountered this kind of guy? I call this the type of guy who is not ready to commit, but wants to keep you in his life in hopes of landing you in the sack or just in case his side plan comes crashing down, you'll be his rebound chic.

Finally after seeing the friendship not growing and me feeling like he was starting to seem like a guy who only wanted to come around when it's convenient for him, I began to treat him short, mean and dry. I wouldn't answer the phone each time he called, the visits became less and less until finally I was flat out saying NO, I don't feel like YOUR company. The response from him was amazing at the time. I expressed to him why I'd changed and he started being the one to call me, and text me and do all he could to get my attention, he even mowed my lawn at no charge. I have come to the conclusion that some men seem to like a mean drama queens more than they like a nice respectable woman who doesn't mind showing she's interested in him. Wonder why that is? Should I have to be bossy and mean in order to snag a guys attention? It just doesn't seem fair to me nor does it make sense!

 This is a perfect example of why we as females get fed up completely! Don't you agree? We put ourselves out there and look at the results. This guy is obviously interested because why would he be wasting his time just to hope he'll score with me someday? The bad part about it is, he has completely turned me off and he doesn't even realize it. During the time I was barely speaking to him and treating him mean, I guess he thought I have changed my mind since I finally decided to start back speaking to him again. I'm tired and I'm certain he can tell. I mean why does he continue to come around for my verbal abuse? I purposely say stuff like, "I don't know why you're trying come over here, I'm not interested anymore." I remind him that when I wanted him he wasn't showing me the same response so what is his purpose? He just grins and nods and grins and nods, I'm starting to think he just may be a nut case! Who does that? Wait to be mistreated then tries to show interest?

I'm no mean girl but I also don't have time for games, and neither should you. I can be a sweet fluffy pup and I can also be a pit bull, don't test me!He just turned 45 years old and is acting like a complete idiot! Told me he wants to someday be in a relationship but, ah but ah but ah but awwww..... But ahhh what? Couldn't even get it out clear and I refuse to be that chic who holds it down until you have chosen your drama queen of choice. Sometimes being a little mean and sassy can be a turn on to some guys, but it shouldn't be something you have to do to get his attention. There is something wrong with a man who would rather be mistreated than to be treated nice.  Ladies if it doesn't fit don't force it!

Tinzley B

The Better Me #Nando25 Challenge

Hello everyone, I wanted to share a little bit more about the 25 days to a better you challenge which begins tomorrow on April 1st. http://nandoism.com/ I wanted you to know what this challenge means to me and why I decided to join. While I spend a lot of my time writing and sharing relationship/ dating insight, I also seek self improvement quite often. In this ever changing world, self growth is something that we all need daily. I mean who doesn't want to get better? So during the 25 day challenge, my goal is to take as much of what Nando the great has to offer, (he's the host of this great event) .

Have there been times in your life that you've asked questions and you still have no answers until this day? Yes for me and lets just say this 25 day challenge is bound to answer tons and tons of my questions. This is what I'm looking for as in my quest to be a better person, I also want to receive things that I can pass along to you and you can pass along to others and the list goes on and on. I made sure I included the link above so you can stop by Nandos page and register to receive all this wonderful knowledge he's about to share.

While I usually blog about relationships and dating, this challenge in so many ways will even shed some light on those areas of our lives. I want to someday find true love and true love find me, I want to live my dreams and not just watch them pass me by, I want to be a better person so I can well; be a better person! I want to get more rest, so I can lose some weight.  Are you ready to be better?

TB

Is It Really Cheaper to Keep Her? The Fantasy World Of Men

Photo from Google Images via seshdotcom.wordpress.com

 

I was chatting with a male friend of mine about the old song "Cheaper to Keep Her" By singer singer/ songwriter Buddy Guy www.youtube.com/watch 

My friend shared his frustrations with men mostly, for being and staying in relationships with women who they despise or who they no longer love. This caught my attention because my ultimate goal is to help singles make wiser choices when choosing their mate so they won't end up singing Old Buddy Guy's song. So here's what my friend had to say. His exact words:

"I'm so sick of hearing this "cheaper to keep her" BS! It's cats like this that have perpetuated this ridiculous notion and driven many men to submission. You can't put a price on your freaking happiness or peace of mind! Period! (regardless as to being male or female) So, It's supposed to be a better idea to have husbands and wives who despise each other , and kids all too much the wiser? Who wins in that scenario?"

My opinion on the topic? There is this fear of facing reality that men seem to have more than women. Now I'm not saying all men but many tend to create this fantasy world that consists of all the things they like and all the stress free things that they don't have to worry about. They can be very selfish and while living this fantasy world, they are too closed minded to realize that this does NOT resolve the problems they are having in their marriages. Running from responsibility never makes it all better because, well it's still there when you return. So the cheaper to keep her to most men means they will go ahead and stay in an unfulfilled relationship and continue to fake it because they know they have this fantasy world they have created and can always run off and hide there. Whether it's another woman and just sex that they may not be getting at home or whether it's going to strip bars or even if its using drugs or hanging out flirting with other females, it's their place to escape and not have to FACE the reality of their now married life. Some men just don't handle stress well and they hate having to talk anything over that may reveal all they have been storing inside of them. The down side is when this "fantasy world" gets found out about! Then you have even more to deal with. So is it really cheaper??Alimony and child support is not cheap at all! I suggest if you're no longer happy and have tried therapy and any and everything to get that SPARK back yet is hasn't worked. Then divorce maybe the best option. 

The problem females have on the other hand is image; We live to please the "World" instead of ourselves even if that means paying ALL the bills, buying our own engagement ring and moving him in your home just to say you have a happy loving relationship. We figure, if I look happy on the outside then I don't have to worry about being judged for being single! In reality when it all comes tumbling down, fingers will still be pointed.

My friend then asked why aren't there any women saying “it’s cheaper to keep him? Why just men?" I responded, I think our song may go more like this," It's safer to keep him, that way no one knows just how super miserable I am!"

Now do you really want to be with someone who does NOT want to be with you? Somethings can't be saved!

Tinzley B